I've been reading all of my sleep books and they are full of painful methods to help your child sleep through the night, but none of them talk about how to get your child to sleep somewhere other than in your arms day or night. Even in the hospital, she wouldn't sleep alone in the little bassinet (there weren't very many babies, so the nurses could hold her). I've felt too bad to let such a tiny baby cry herself to sleep in her own bed, so I've undoubtedly reinforced her sleep associations (me). Now I'm going crazy.
I actually don't mind so much having her in bed with me, she usually only wakes up once or twice to eat, so it's not hampering my sleep much. I could pull Ella or Kate in to feed in the night without them refusing to sleep without me during the day though. I can get Leah to sleep pretty easily, but she wakes up after only a few minutes and starts wailing if a grown up isn't there with her. She is clever enough to know that Ella (who would love nothing more than being able to hold the baby all day) isn't a grown up. So, dear readers, what should I do. Should I carry on with this take whatever you can get lifestyle and let the house and my sanity go to hell (or rather to deeper recesses thereof)? Should I just let my baby cry (and ignore the pleas of her sisters begging me to pick her up)? Should I just have myself committed to a mental institution and put us all out of our misery?
Oh Liesl, I'm so sorry!!! If it makes you feel any better, Sawyer (my third) has been so far my most difficult and worst sleeping child! He was so stubborn from the beginning and I basically had to torture him to sleep in the end, only a few months ago (at around 2 years, when I could at least reason a little with him, or should I say threaten!). People say that babies can really sleep through the night (at least) by a certain weight/time, but it requires letting them cry it out basically. I've never been able to do that. But I think that you have to do what's best for you and your family as a whole, which may mean that Leah will have to just deal with it. At some point you will probably feel reconciled either way, and once you feel strongly, you'll be able to follow through. Good luck, and my condolences! love, laurel
ReplyDeleteGo with the mental institution idea.
ReplyDeleteActually, she kinda sounds like me. I made mom fall asleep with me almost every night until I was 16. So, good luck with that.
I've got nothing. Beth is almost 9 months old, and still won't sleep through the night. I did let her cry it out for nap time, something I never did with Jacob, and she does pretty well now. But according to Ferber, you only have to let them cry for an hour, and then pretend they had a nap and go about your day (neglecting to mention an impossibly fussy baby) I could handle crying for an hour. But we tortured ourselves with Jacob, making him cry it out at night, and although it did work, I loathe to do it again. So, we're tired too.
ReplyDeleteIf you find a good mental institution with cable, can I come too?
I definitely would go for the mental institution--if you can find one that will take you. As a backup I think you should buy a mannequin and see if she'll snuggle up to that.
ReplyDeleteHmm. That might be dangerous. Maybe you better just let her cry.
Oh. I hope I don't have to make these kinds of decisions ever.
(crossing fingers)
Oh Liesl, in my opinion nothing hinders life more than a sleepless baby. Theo was challenging too, he basically lived in a mayan sling attatched to my body for the first few months. I must say, I found that I could still do most anything as long as I was moving (no rest for the weary)...
ReplyDeleteHANG IN THERE!!!
Hugs,
S
Hi friend. I was under the impression that one difficult baby was the limit. Anna was mine and your Leah sounds exactly like her. Looking back I am convinced it was due to acid reflux and gas. Lots of good burping is in order for this kind of baby. Things did sort of calm down at about four or five months.
ReplyDeleteI did not do this, but I wish I did. . . carry her in a sling. Your hands are free this way. I promise it won't last forever.
Love ya,
Meilani
Get a copy of "My First 300 Babies". It was written by a lady who nannied in CA during the 40's & 50's, who specialized in getting babies (and their families) on schedules, with an emphasis on the sleeping part. My friend (with 7 kids!) rec'd it to me when I was expecting my second (my first had very nearly put me in the looney-bin). It was a god-send, literally. Although each of my babies have been different in temperament, the author's program has worked for all. I special-ordered through amazon. Also, have your pediatrician double-check for reflux; that's been the major culprit for many of my friends'/relatives' difficult babies. Best of luck!
ReplyDeleteSounds just like Joseph. #3 and the worst sleeper by far. He's almost 18 months and still won't go to sleep without us holding his hand (and wakes up several times a night). We tried the cry it out thing, didn't work - after a week of no-one in the house getting any sleep, we gave it up and now do whatever it takes to have peace at night. I'd even let him in the bed, except he's such a kicker and roller. we've got another 7 months to figure it out before #4 joins him in nighttime squalling.
ReplyDeleteI say go with the mental institution :).
Oh Liesl, I am so sorry. I haven't any good advice for you. I'll be praying for you though!
ReplyDelete